Where Do We Go From Here?

One of my favorite television shows of all time is Buffy the Vampire Slayer (You notice that I said television, not the movie?). One might ask why I liked Buffy...feel free to in your heads. I liked her because it was one of the few shows that truly allowed the characters to grow up. Joss Whedon is a science fiction-horror god, too. Plus he is loyal to his actors, he has used some of them in various shows he has had a hand in, for example, "Doll House," "Serenity," and of course "Buffy."

I digress though. Buffy was smart and resourceful. Yes I know she was not a stellar student but there are all kinds of smart. She was loyal to her friends and people that she loved, even Angel to the end. She learned from her moral dilemmas and learned to weigh the needs of the many over the need of the one. While this may not seem like a big deal it makes for a true super hero that sacrifices her happiness for the love of all her family and the lives of strangers.


She struggled with the everyday stuff also. She struggled with getting through school, having a social life, college, and her mother dying. All the time, she had to put her personal happiness and desires behind her because of duty. Think about it...is she really different than most of us working mothers and women today?

We struggle with balancing life, work, children, and friends. Some of us even add school into the mix for the sheer insanity of it. We sometimes wait for children to grow up, finish school, find their path before we go looking for happiness. Do we not look back sometimes and saw how did we do that? Do we look back and wonder where do we go from here? In Buffy's case it was said after all the secrets people had held in were revealed. ]
Though that really doesn't matter. It's the same old song.

A Bohemian Philosophy

I recently watched a movie I had not seen before. My son's girlfriend suggested it and we did a girl's day when he was at work and watched it.  The movie is Moulin Rouge. It was very good...sweet...funny...and sad.

I like the philosophy in the movie...the running theme if you would have it. It goes, "the greatest thing to learn is to love and be loved." How true that is. Christian, a young man in Paris, goes to the Moulin Rouge and finds the love of his life, the courtesan, Satine. He falls deeply in love with her and her with him. If that was the end of the movie life would be grand.

Life is never that simple. Satine, flirts with this evil duke to gain funding for Christian's play. It is based on their romance. The evil duke wants to sleep with Satine, to get his money's worth. She stalls him until opening night. At one point they have an intimate dinner. It is during this dinner that she realizes, though she knows she is a courtesan, she can not sleep with this man for money. She nearly gets raped and flees to her love.

That is not the end....but I think if you have not seen the movie you should. The bohemian philosophy is standing the ground for freedom, beauty, truth and love.

Moving on 2012

Decided to rewrite this post. My insecurities have not changed. I am still nervous about what I am doing, to a degree. I want to apologize to people that I have hurt in the distant and not so distant past. I want to say that things happened that seemed right at the time and then spun out of control. Granted being hurt was as encompassing as hurting but all I can do is apologize for that which I have done.

I am back in school and doing well. It has been difficult and I lost focus a little but that was my own fault. Misery loves company I guess and I was my own best company. That is in the past. I am moving forward with a strong desire to make life better for others and myself. I am not going to be perfect...no way that is going to happen. I am going to start writing again...if only in blog form. I need that outlet to try and resolve issues that scream like a banshee in my head.

So maybe I will do some short story writing...if not for anyone's on enjoyment than my own. I don't know. Stephen King once said that his writing what he wrote was cheaper than therapy (sorry- paraphrasing).  I am glad for the people that have come in my life, though things did not end well at least you were there for awhile.

School is in Session

Last year I decided...in my infinite wisdom...to go back to school. Hell, I'm smart, been a nurse 25 years, and been a supervisor...all with an associates degree...how hard could it be right?

God, a lot harder than I and it's all online. I'm very computer savvy...but man when I was in college there was no APA format. No MLA format. So follow along as I chronicle my struggles and hopefully success.